The savage seeds of self doubt are scattered throughout my childhood memories.
My childhood was happy enough. Why then do some of my memories trigger self doubt?
I tended to overanalyze scenarios until I convinced myself that it was me at fault whenever things went wrong in the family.
Belittling words were hurled at me by my mean- spirited siblings until I could no longer believe in my own self worth. “You are too goody goody” is what I was often told by my siblings. “We can’t measure up to your standards. There’s no fun in being good”
I thought that meant I wasn’t good at being bad enough to be interesting. No one could possibly like this insipid personality. I was convinced that I wasn’t good at all. I was boring and dull. Those savage seeds had been implanted into my subconscious.
It took time and courage to stop those seeds from germinating again. I bloomed once more but differently.
This is a response to a Flash Fiction prompt from ‘Putting My Feet In the Dirt’, Writing Prompts hosted by ‘M’.